After reading Dave Clifton’s funny and informative post yesterday, I got to thinking more about certifications, specifically ones that would be really useful for consumers. Yeah, we know about GMPs, NSF, and all the other varieties of alphabet approval soup. But I think costumers, such as myself, would feel a bit better if we saw the following on a bottle.
The Golden Beaker—Congratulations! This means your product’s benefits are supported by at least three original studies published in reputable scientific journals. Oh, and your supplement doesn’t taste like your testing lab’s floor. Style and substance both matter to get this certification.
The Good News Guarantee—Your supplement has not been the justifiable target of any investigative news team—print, online, or otherwise—and a blue ribbon panel of PR experts has determined that you have the infrastructure in place to handle any recall, warning letter, or news development that has the faintest whiff of scandal. That means an excellent customer service department, your availability to all press (trade and consumer) inquiries, and an info-packed, easy-to-navigate Website that doesn’t look it was made by a high school senior in 1994.
The Easy-to-Swallow Promise—A panel of senior citizens, small children, and parent advocacy groups have deemed that your supplement isn’t the size of a throw pillow and can be consumed without incident by any age group. (Note: Oil and liquid delivery systems are banned until further notice.)
The Social Conscience Shield—Is your company supporting industry associations and trade groups? Does it regularly meet with national and state politicians while donating its time and money in support of the natural products industry? Do your employees go to trade shows eager to talk to Orrin Hatch and Mark Blumenthal instead of fitness models? If you answered “yes” to all these questions, then your company could be eligible for this nifty honor. Plus, think of the art possibilities for the label!
Is there anything you would like to add? Head to the comment section and let ‘er rip.